A railing, high enough to ensure safety, ran along the edge.However, this was not the place that gave the area its name. Further down, a minute slab of rounded rock jutted out, forming a natural base that seemed to step right into space. Only the nerveless ventured to put a foot on the ‘cockpit’ as it was aptly called.

The ‘cockpit’ was slightly below the rim of sheer rock. A stony rift descended to the ledge. One could lower oneself through this fissure. Tourists gave it a wide berth. Few could bring themselves to peer down the narrow groove and look boldly at this acrophobic platform of rock. Even looking at the ‘cockpit’ sparked a death wish in some, a fleeting moment of a terrifying, hypnotic desire to fling oneself down. Visitors stuck to the main platform, which they found thrillingly vertiginous and safe.

“I’m sure a few people must be jumping off here,” said an onlooker, half hoping he would see that happen right then. He was part of a raggedly group trailing past Vantage Rock. “Shouldn’t they put a barrier or something?” The guide bridled. “Nobody puts a barrier on Vantage Rock,” he said. “It’s bad for business”. That’s what it all amounted to, sighed the inquisitive tourist. Death, tragedy, catastrophe and disaster–all good business. Pillaged for emotions, and scavenged for feelings. Good business.  “Anybody interested in taking the air?” he said playfully. “Nobody, of course!” He was wrong. A member of the group had just made up her mind to take the jump. Throughout the morning, Anna had been thinking of means. An overdose of sleeping tablets was what she had first settled upon. Rather prosaic, for a girl who had performed her life against vivid backdrops of sentiment and sensuality. A good thing she had come out of her room to have a last lingering look at the world outside. The leap from the cockpit would make a spectacular end. Just the kind of end that would show up the wickedness of Ronnie. Bring home to him in stark relief the enormity of his betrayal. The poor thing inside wouldn’t feel a thing. Two lives snuffed out – severed in blossom and seed. Ronnie would come to know later of the second and would be devastated. He alone would feel the scourge of the remaining emotions in this real-life drama.

Anna dragged on in the slipstream of eager & hurrying visitors. It was growing dark, and soon it would be time to carry out her resolve. The lights of her hotel glimmered through trees lining the stone-flagged path. She abruptly remembered the man in the lobby. Was it fated that she would see such a man on her last day on earth? Carved like a sculptor’s apotheosis, it was the most remarkable face she had ever seen. So expressive in its quietness, and yet so alive in expression!

The graceful body spoke of indomitable strength, gripped in a vice of gentleness. But what moved her most were his serene eyes. They looked as if they knew so much more and had infinite understanding… Yet acknowledged that without an understanding of others, such knowledge left him incomplete and always searching. He would have set the stage on fire if he could have been persuaded to perform. But she instinctively knew he was not the kind to be anything else but himself. Who was he? A priest? A prophet? An immortal man?

She did not see him in the lobby. He was often there, sitting in a corner. Maybe he had already left, and that made her sad. If she could have seen her just this last time, she would have felt somehow complete and ready to meet her destiny. He would never know how much she had thought of him on this day, which she was about to make her last on earth. She went up the stairs and locked herself in. There were things to be done. She tossed her head and went to work, preparing for a consummation that would put an end to this unbearable existence.

She was ready! One last look around to embed an ordinary picture in her mind. To what end? It would be erased forever anyway in a short while. So why this nagging desire to hold on to some lacklustre frame of life? She shook her head and walked out.  Her feet moved in measured paces, carrying her from marble to flagstone. She left the hotel and stepped into the orderly wildness of its premises. From here, the winding path would take her to the brink of her existence she had chosen. Translucent moonlight lay like a moist sheen on the ground. She trod through patterns of pebble and twig.  Past the main platform, past the landscaped grottos, past the benches of soda and popcorn. Then she was there.

The view was breathtaking! Why hadn’t she come out the night before? Just to look. Could have been a dress rehearsal! She looked long and hard, then drew back satisfied. Mollified in advance, that these mighty rocks would soon pay homage to her spectacular renunciation of life. This ethereal vision was just the sight to serve as her last glimpse of Earth. She lowered herself fearlessly into the cockpit and faced the magnificent vista of towering and plunging rock. Her legs shook uncontrollably, and spasms of dizziness forced her to her knees. Then her spirit flared, and she straightened up. Planting her feet firmly apart, she raised her hands aloft and shaped them like wings. The actress waited for the cue.

It came resonating in the vastness of silence, like the twang of a bow. The sound settled like a lasso around her neck and yanked her back. “Wait!” The command came from behind her. Low and vibrant, compelling. The tension which had wound her to a key point snapped, and she fell back heaving. Even without looking up, she instinctively knew who it was who had uttered that single word of restraint.

‘Are you hurt?” asked the voice. Anna passed enervated hands over her body. No bump, no bruise. Two warm, vital hands gripped her about the arms and pulled her up smoothly. He set her apart, propping her upright against a tree stub. She looked into his eyes in the moonlight. They were devoid of concern. Abstract, remote, untouched by emotion, sentiment and feeling. He began to speak. “I know your name. Anna. I asked the concierge. I placed you as a spirited girl. Distraught perhaps, because of some personal grief, but never one to……. I shall never know what drove you to this extremity. What is it, Anna? A love betrayed, or some intolerable shame? A terminal illness? Or is it plain and simple vengeance, just to add the pain of remorse to the unforgiven?” She was silent.

‘Whatever it is, Anna, you choose death as an escape. You seek a refuge, a release from such torment you think cannot be sustained or restrained any longer. You are fleeing from life before your time, and that’s a sin. And worse still, I think you seek death not as a relief but as vengeance. A stick to keep beating those you would leave behind. You are not trying to exorcise a devil. There is no devil, but your frustrations. You have not fought with life and lost. You have surrendered to the misery of your existence. You are a coward, Anna. A coward.’

His words sank deeply into the silence between them. Then he continued in a voice shorn of his self and freed from the present. “There is only one reason to end one’s life. The only reason. Not yours, Anna. Not yours at all!” The man stepped back and pulled Anna to her feet. “Go, my child,” he said gently. “You have a second chance. For doing that, which can make your life worthwhile.’

“Who are you?” asked Anna, more wonder than query in her voice. “Have you saved my life, just to leave me in search for a reason to die?”  No reply, as the man looked at her impassively. There was something chilling about him now. Her vision and mind blurred. Had she really held back at the last moment, or taken the plunge?  And this man who looked upon her, was he there to take her back to haunt the ones she had left behind? Stark fear spread like wildfire inside her, and she turned and ran. Only once she stopped, to look back at the one who stood against a faintly lit sky. Like a graven image grown out of granite. Indomitable, indestructible, insensate. Like the rocks. Slipping and stumbling, she fled along the ragged pathway that led to the hotel.

The concierge was pacing the floor in the lobby. He saw Anna and came hurrying towards her. “Madam, I cannot understand. You know the gentleman in Room 314?  My mentor and my patron, the kindest gentleman who lived on earth! I cannot explain how he has left me so much money! And this note. It just says ‘Thank you.’ The man was almost weeping now. ‘Where is he, Madam? Did you see him?”

She read the note and started. Foreboding came rushing in, and this time she fled down the serpentine path heedless of pain and breath. At last, she came upon the rift and looked down at the cockpit. Something lay in the cold, bare rock. A little square of white, weighed down with a stone. She eased herself a second time onto the precarious perch, picked up the folded piece of foolscap and shook it out. Fishing out a small flashlight from her pocket, she positioned a trembling circle of light on the paper. And read.

Dear Anna,

                       I know you will come back. Doubtless, you have figured out that we met by chance, not design. I do not regret it. It gave me a chance to do a last act of humanity. If you are redeemed, then I have served well.

        Remember my words, Anna? There is only one reason, the only reason to end one’s life. As long as your mind is circumscribed by beginnings and ends, you will never understand. Till you have forsaken ideas of permanence and eternity, you shall never know. When you are older & wiser and rid of the shackles, perhaps you may discover the only reason. Then come to Vantage Rock, Anna. And spread your wings as you did today. I will be there…… 

                                                                              Au revoir